Subaru, Turducken, and Other Strange Birds

A long time ago I was fired from the Byerly’s business (and later restated) for taking a picture of a model holding a Turducken. I depicted this Scandinavian babe in a Bergmanesque pose tortured by existential angst over what to do with the strange aviary object. Tres Lund, apparently, did not prefer realism in his […]

The Feast Index

"Be not angry or sour at table; whatever may happen put on the cheeful mien for good humor makes one dish a feast." from the Shaker manual Gentle Manners.   THE FEAST INDEX Estimated number of turkeys rasied in Minnesota in 2007: 46 million Rank of Minnesota in the top six turkey producing states: 1 […]

Trash Can Turkey With White Wine

It’s been my experience that people under stress generally respond in one of two ways: they either shut down, sleep more, become lethargic and gain weight; or they become frantic, insomniac, impossible to calm and they lose. I’m a loser. When my first husband left our family — out of frustration and addiction and through […]

T-Day Seven Days Out: The Bird

The bird is the word. We used to go to my aunt’s house in North Oaks for Thanksgiving. I clearly remember her perched on a chair next to the oven, heater and scotch in one hand, turkey baster in the other as she dutifully doused the bird every five minutes. From that chair she barked orders […]