Something in the Air

I’m not easily moved — not by people anyhow, not by masses, that is. I was certainly moved by Brendel’s performance at Orchestra Hall a few months ago. And now, now I am moved. This time by people coming together. How sappy that sounds. How cynical I am. The Xcel is engulfed in bodies, live […]

Get the #Q)*?!#$ Off My Lawn

On the well-manicured lawn that is the Democratic primary, there resides a two large groups of little old men shouting epithets at one another, screaming for "these kids" to get the fuck off their lawn. Sadly, these arthritic individuals aren’t Edina’s most senior residents, as one might expect of these wizened figures glowering at any […]

John McCain Nude – 64 Results

It was on the far right, literally. A tiny block of space someone had purchased to help The Rake live another day. Pay up, and you can paste your sign/add your link/sing your song on my web page/television/telephone/window/door/floor/car/bus/butt/etc… In the ultimate capitalist pervasion of everyday life, this heat-seeking piranha of an ad jumped at me, […]

A+B=WTF

On Wednesday, April 30, 2008, Sen. John McCain jumped the shark. Now, I’ve got a lot of respect for the man. He’s always been something of a straight shooter. And when a man spends time in a POW camp and can’t raise his arms above his shoulders as a result, I’m inclined to cut the […]

Hillaright and Hillawrong.

I am not exactly sure what I am trying to say with my headline. While I won’t pick nits with her politics, I fear that if she, my fellow sister, were to gain the white house (I may be the only that holds a candle–for my own reasons) she will raise the CAFE standards even […]

How Clinton Wrecked His Ferrari

When you have enough money, you call your son Clinton or Caufield or something stilted enough to create an affect. You also (or so the guys at the Porsche dealership tell me) buy your kid a car he or she should never try to pilot. Of course, this results in great websites. The pictured vehicle […]

Fiscal Lubrication

For those of you lulled into complacency by auspicious recent events such as Britney’s brief flirtation with lucidity, it’s important to note that, not only is the entertainment industry still pumping out fucking loons at a heretofore unheard of pace, but our politicians are providing ample evidence of a world view so profoundly divorced from […]

Primarily Screwed

If astronomers and astrophysicists are correct, we’ve got another 13-16 billion years until the universe collapses under its own mass and hubris in a Big Crunch – making it all the more impressive that it has taken just a few short months for Sen. Hillary Clinton’s world to implode, compacting itself into a fiery mass […]