The Rake: Beyond the Cask

Starting Out in the Evening

Ann Bauer — Sat, 03 May 2008 18:44:34 -0500

Remember those days when you would wait for your parents to leave the house so you could invite your girl- or boyfriend over for an evening of videos and cheap wine and illicit sex?

Well, here's a funny thing. Those days return, when you're 42 or so. . . .You discover there's a Friday evening coming up. The kids are going to be out -- one at a sleepover, the other doing whatever high school seniors do -- and you plot. You get a DVD from Hollywood and a cheap bottle of wine and think about how you're going to have the house all to yourself.

Fill Your Tank With Pinot Gris

Ann Bauer — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:13:46 -0500

Back in late 2007, I wrote a blog post called The Seventh Sign: $30 Chianti about a predicted rise in the price of European wines. According to the New York Times, the hike was supposed to hit in three to five months. Right about. . . .now.

The exchange rate, oil prices, global economic turmoil: all the factors are there. But so far as I can see, wine inflation just isn't happening. At least not yet.

A Midsummer Night's Wine

Ann Bauer — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 11:03:14 -0500

So it seems the kids from Fame (who, by the way, are now eligible for AARP) have gotten together with Cyndi Lauper and a couple writers from the early days of Saturday Night Live to adapt Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream for the Guthrie.

That, and I suppose Joe Dowling had a hand in it, too.

A Dry Spell and Then a Premier Cru

Ann Bauer — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:17:58 -0500

It is true that I drink wine nearly every day. But recently, I went three days without. . . .very purposefully. It was less a personal decision than a public parenting demonstration. Alcohol is not a necessity. I only hope it worked.

The Emperor Has Underwear. . . and Maybe a Pair of Socks

Ann Bauer — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:24:00 -0500

What you drink from matters. No question.

Good coffee will be ruined by a Styrofoam, waxed, or plastic vessel (and here, I include all those plastiform travel mugs distributed by SA). Water leaches toxins from petroleum-based bottles. Anything out of an aluminum can tastes like. . . .aluminum can. Chunky little Chinese bowl cups somehow make tea taste better. Wide cappuccino mugs with plenty of room for foam are a must. And decent wine glasses do improve the wine drinking experience.

To a point.

Spring Break

Ann Bauer — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 19:11:48 -0500

Ah. . . .spring break.

I don't know what the words conjure up for you. For me, a college professor and parent, spring break means two things: a week of stupid, drunken antics that tend to leave my students hungover, pregnant, and/or diseased, and a week of sleeping in, being bored, and watching too much TV that tends to make my children ready to go back to school.

Either way, not my favorite time of year. Until last week.

At Cue: A Thinking Woman's Wines

Ann Bauer — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:35:20 -0500

She may look like a lost cast member from Charmed, the former WB's show for Gothic teenyboppers that featured beautiful, modern-day witches living in San Francisco, fighting evil lords, and dyeing their long, silky hair.

Getting Lucky with Gabriel James

Ann Bauer — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 09:05:11 -0500

About three months ago, John and I decided we were in a rut. We went out to eat and then to a movie; we went to a movie and got a bite to eat. There was something missing. Music. So we pledged to go out at least twice a month and listen to some band we'd never heard of in a venue that doesn't cost a ton.

The Rise of the Mighty Euro

Ann Bauer — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 13:57:40 -0500

Perhaps I'm the only one who wasn't paying attention to the complications caused by the European Union. But I'll admit, I'm surprised.

The Bread Wars of Orvieto

Ann Bauer — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:11:03 -0500

I spent my 42nd birthday on a motorcycle, riding through the hills of Umbria and stopping for a late lunch in a beautiful little village called Orvieto. It was, from beginning to end, magnificent.

Jet Lagged and Loving It

Ann Bauer — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:08:11 -0500

We arrived in Rome yesterday around 2 p.m. This after 18 straight hours of travel, consisting of two hours in the MSP airport (who knew we'd whip through security in 30 seconds?), eight hours on the flight to Amsterdam, four hours in Schipol, and another hour 58 minutes in the air.

I don't sleep on planes [I can barely sleep in beds, for Christ's sake!]. My head was still stuck back home: Did our son make it to school? Was anyone feeding the cat? Had our daughter had anything new pierced in the scant day since we left? Weary and worried, I found Rome formidable.

Going to the Dogs

Ann Bauer — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 16:37:37 -0600

I'm typically leery of wines with cute, punny, or outrageous names. Goats do Roam. The Unbearable Lightness of Riesling. Fat Bastard. They're all truly dreadful. So I was expecting little when I uncorked the Rosenblum Cellars Côte du Bone Roan 2005 from Chateau La Paws.

Hot Stupid Foreign Nannies

Ann Bauer — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 19:59:28 -0600

It started like this:

My 13-year-old daughter walked into a room where I was reading and my husband was opening a bottle of wine (which she would tell you is what we're always doing, except when we're working or yelling at her) and said, "You remember when I went to Karl and Julia's when I was in third grade and their nanny let us slide down that huge dirt hill all afternoon and you got really mad because it was so dirty and dangerous?"

"Yes," I said, without raising my head.

Mystic Lake Casino: Gorge and Gamble, But Do It Dry

Ann Bauer — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 18:07:51 -0600

It struck me as inconsistent when I discovered this:

You can gamble away everything you have at Mystic Lake Casino. Your savings, your kids' college funds, the church collection you were supposed to deposit.

The Syringa Tree: Strange Magic

Ann Bauer — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 10:30:34 -0600

Every morning, I get up all bleary and I pour my coffee and I sit down with my laptop and I tell my little stories. Character, plot, narrative, theme. I think I have a handle on these things. Most days, I feel competent.

Then I read or see something like The Syringa Tree, which is playing at the Jungle Theater until March 9, and everything I know about how to construct a story seems hopelessly naive.

Ancient Aborigines and $6 Australian Wine

Ann Bauer — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 11:45:30 -0600

Here it is, practically the eve of the Oscars, and I've yet to see two of the five movies nominated for best picture. I didn't care for No Country; I liked but did not absolutely love Juno. So far, my money's on There Will Be Blood, which was not only a magnificent film but the richest evocation of loneliness and megalomania I've watched since Citizen Kane.

Letting Go Of The Hate

Ann Bauer — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 22:07:21 -0600

I used to think hating Diablo Cody was only a regional pasttime. This is, after all, an area lousy with writers who have not written Writers Guild of America award-winning screenplays or gotten incredibly rich and famous or appeared on David Letterman. And sometimes, when the wind is blowing in the right direction, I swear you can hear about 500 of them grumbling: I wrote for City Pages once years ago. . . .and I could have been some skanky sex worker if I were willing to stoop that low. . .

Diet Coke Will Make You Fat & Other Truths

Ann Bauer — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 07:05:30 -0600

So it's not just your imagination, it actually is true. Those zero-calorie sodas people are popping left and right and up and down, ordering with their cheeseburgers and large fries and drinking instead of coffee in the morning or wine at night, actually lead to (or, as they say in medical-speak, "are linked to") metabolic syndrome, which is a fancy way of saying fat and all its attendant ills.

If You Give a Mouse a Nice Bottle of Portuguese Wine

Ann Bauer — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 02:29:21 -0600

There's a picture book called If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, by Laura Joffe Numeroff, that I used to read to my children. It goes like this:

Blood, Sweat, and Chardonnay

Ann Bauer — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 14:16:16 -0600

There is, perhaps, nothing on this earth so elemental as salt. It's the flavor of the ocean, and of blood. Also sweat, tears, and — let's be frank here — semen, that stuff which contains half the origin of human life.

Filling The Gaps at Il Vesco Vino

Ann Bauer — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 11:02:17 -0600

My husband and I found ourselves over the weekend in that gap between wedding ceremony and reception and desperately in need of a drink.

The Truth: You Absolutely Must Drink if You Watch This Show

Ann Bauer — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 16:38:08 -0600

I would like to tell you that my daughter and I spend quality time together watching the Masterpiece series of Jane Austen stories: pretty, bonneted heroines practicing archery and dropping calling cards and plotting to win the hearts of handsome young men. I would like to tell you that. But it's just not true.

A Killing Cold

Ann Bauer — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 19:42:12 -0600

Typically, it is heat that frightens me. Perhaps this is because I grew up in Minnesota, but sweltering temperatures seem more sinister — thick and canopy-like and unavoidable — whereas cold has always struck me as surmountable. Until now.

What Is This Thing Called Cheese?

Ann Bauer — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 15:26:41 -0600

OK, I know what cheese is. And I also know — because I researched it once — why it exists.

Raging

Ann Bauer — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 06:58:51 -0600

Something terrible happened to my family this week.

What it is isn't important, and I'm not being self-effacing when I say that. Individual calamities mean little but to the people who suffer them. Tragedies occur every day: Little children are struck by cars and killed; young people are diagnosed with hideous diseases; old people die after slowly losing their minds. We assume, generally, that this is the natural order of the world. It is only when it is happening to us that we object.

Licking Toads

Ann Bauer — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 22:32:53 -0600

I would watch Philip Seymour Hoffman fold his laundry. Magnolia, 25th Hour, Capote. Like a blond, overfed version of Sean Penn, he is so riveting onscreen — so true in every single role he plays — that the actors around him seem to fade.

Michael Dorris: Lessons in Anguish and Drink

Ann Bauer — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 17:46:33 -0600

I've spent the day researching the life of Michael Dorris: reading him, reading about him. And the dark, frantic moral of his story seems to be simply that some lives are unlivable. This is not a comforting thought.

A Bad Movie and a Fine Hungarian Wine

Ann Bauer — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 22:12:43 -0600

Here's how we end up at Gusto Cafe & Wine Bar in Hopkins:

It's Saturday evening and we have nothing to do because the party we thought we were attending actually is next week (someone -- that would be me -- put it on the wrong space in the calendar) and all the kids are occupied elsewhere and it's too late to make dinner reservations. So we decide to hit a cheap movie.

January: Days of Emergen-C and Ice

Ann Bauer — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 21:32:57 -0600

Let's face it. The Days of Wine and Roses are past.

This is January, month of frigid temperatures and atonement. And all I have to say is, if you overindulged in December. . . .well, join the club.

Looking Back on 2007

Ann Bauer — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 04:56:45 -0600

Say you were offered the option to go forward or backward in a time machine. Which would you choose?

If science fiction is any indication, most people would leap ahead to find out what the world will be like at some future time. Me? I'd go back: to the Last Supper, to Ludwig Beethoven's Vienna, to the birth of my firstborn. I'm fascinated by what has happened and by the changes wrought. Whereas others blow horns and throw confetti, kissing strangers and drinking too much to welcome the new year, I tend quietly to look to the past.