Let's suppose you --the hypothetical, perhaps wholly imagined You-- stumble in here to Yo Ivanhoe on an occasional, one-time, or even purely accidental basis (one of those Google mishaps, say), completely unaware that this little futility closet is in fact a mere, very minor adjunct to a giant media empire (Rake Media Worldwide), which produces a print magazine [1] in whose employ I --Brad Zellar-- presently find myself, however tenuously.

Rake Media Worldwide also operates a website [2], where Yo Ivanhoe enjoys sidebar status as a barely-tolerated exercise in pathetic self indulgence. You --the hypothetical, perhaps wholly imagined You-- may not know any of this. And so you may not know that if you go to the Rake website and poke around a bit you can find (and watch) a video of me --Brad Zellar-- reading, from the relative comfort of my modest home, a traditional Christmas story, complete with a live infant, a dog, a roaring fire, and an inebriate. I would post the thing right here but I don't have the slightest idea how to do any such thing, so I will provide you with a link that will take you there [3].

In doing this --a rare act of loathsome self promotion-- I am motivated solely by the spirit of the season and a sort of pathological generosity. I hope that you will thank me for it, even as I feel the need to apologize for wasting your time.