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December 2004 Issue

FEATURES

Panderlust

What would you do to get the attention you crave—if you're a TV network?
by Hans Eisenbeis

Scooper & Scooped: Poached Edition

The follow-on story: flattery or imitation?
by Hans Eisenbeis
The Headless Bison Calf: An Archaeological Mystery

The Headless Bison Calf: An Archaeological Mystery

I was the last scientist to see the remains of the “Fingerson calf.” No one would have bet on what I discovered.
by David Mather
The Twelve Months of Christmas

The Twelve Months of Christmas

Even in summer, Dwayne and Janet Pundt live in a marshmallow world.
by Jennifer Vogel

Scooper & Scooped: Red America Edition

Got Jesus?
by Hans Eisenbeis
The Eternal Optimist

The Eternal Optimist

He’s been up, he’s been down. But ERIC UTNE has never stopped wanting to change the world.
by Jennifer Vogel
Brand of Sky Blue Waters

Brand of Sky Blue Waters

Any idea what that Hamm’s beer sign is worth today?
by Don Jacobson

FICTION

Survival Skills

by Sara Woster

LETTERS & RED HANDED

To the Editor

I hope you dance!

THE RAKISH ANGLE

A New Job

Gift Idea No. 5

A New Job

Lose your seat, legislator? Move it or lose it.
by Adam Minter
A Celtic Harp

Gift Idea No. 2

A Celtic Harp

They’re not just for angels and orchestras anymore.
by Sari Gordon
A Rock ’N’ Roll Christmas Service

Gift Idea No. 6

A Rock ’N’ Roll Christmas Service

Turn “Silent Night” up to eleven!
by Christy DeSmith
A Pumpkin Gun

Gift Idea No. 3

A Pumpkin Gun

Making pie for a hungry army?
by William Gurstelle
A Spy Camera

Gift Idea No. 7

A Spy Camera

New hobby alert! Hacking into wireless surveillance cameras—cool!
by Molly Priesmeyer
A College Radio Station

Gift Idea No. 1

A College Radio Station

Everything has its price, y’know.
Chain Saw Carving School

GIft Idea No. 4

Chain Saw Carving School

Put that dangerous power tool to work, dude.
by Dan Gilchrist

STRAIGHT TALK

Susanna Clarke

Novelist

SO LITTLE TIME...

Books

David Charters

The Insiders: A Portfolio of Stories from High Finance, available now

Art

Artworks of He Qi

Premier Gallery, December 1-January 31

Music

Allison Krauss and Union Station

Lonely Runs Both Ways, available November 23

Art

Aaron Young

Midway Contemporary Art, through December 18

Restaurants

Mell's Beauty Bar

Minneapolis Warehouse District

Soundtrack to Mary

By Mary Lucia

Books

Terry Iacuzzo

Small Mediums at Large: The True Tale of a Family of Psychics, available December 29

Dance

Ballet of The Dolls' Cinderalla and The Glass Slipper

Ordway Center’s McKnight Theater, December 8-31

Art

Reds, Blues and Others: Terry Gydesen and Diana Walker

Minnesota Center for Photography, through December 22

Film

Paris, Texas

DVD available December 14

Film

Meet The Fockers

Area theaters, opens December 22

Desert Island Duffel

Desert Island Duffel

Bain Boehlke, artistic director of The Jungle Theater

Music

John Frusciante

A Sphere in the Heart of Silence, available now

Film

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

Area theaters, opens December 17

Music

American Hi-Fi

Quest Club, December 15

Performance

Mu Daiko's Taiko Blizzard

Southern Theater, December 2-12

Music

Edith Frost

400 Bar, December 9

Books

James Solheim

Southdale Library and Red Balloon Bookshop, December 4

Art

Beauford Delaney: From New York To Paris

The Minnesota Institute of Arts, through February 20

Theater

Santaland Diaries

Bryant-Lake Bowl; December 5-6, 11-13, 18-20, 27

Art

Biennials—Past, Present, Future

Soo Visual Arts Center, through December 7

Restaurants

ElGordo

St. Louis Park

Film

DODGEBALL: A True Underdog Story

DVD available December 7

Books

Carmen Boullosa

Cleopatra Dismounts, available now

Film

The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou

Area theaters, opens December 25

Art

The Aamerican Presidency: A Glorious Burden

The Minnesota Historical Society, through spring 2005

Music

The Trashy Little Christmas Show

Lee’s Lounge and Liquor Bar, November 27 and December 4, 11, 18; ; (Family Matinee) Theatre de la Jeune Lune, December 12

Restaurants

Biella

Excelsior

Film

The Aviator

Area theaters, opens December 17

Books

Julie Landsman

Kitty Kat Klub, December 7

Books

Umberto Eco

On Literature, available December 6

Theater

Inherit The Wind

Fifty Foot Penguin Theater at Cedar Riverside People’s Center, December 3-18

Music

Burnt Sugar

Cedar Cultural Center, December 4

Film

Love Me Tender

DVD available December 14

DOWN THE HATCH

Profiles in Chocolate

Profiles in Chocolate

Meet several Twin Cities-area entrepreneurs who are following their cocoa-bean dreams.
by Stephanie March
Sweetness and Lime

Wine

Sweetness and Lime

Golden white from the Argentine.
by Oliver Nicholson

MOTLEY KRüSE

Life Skills

Life Skills

There’s more to convenience foods than meets the eye.
by Colleen Kruse

THE RAKE'S PROGRESS

Stop the “Christmas Carol” Carousel!

What’s behind our annual pilgrimages to holiday shows that never, ever change?
by Christy DeSmith
An Ascetic X-mas?

An Ascetic X-mas?

What to get those who don’t want anything for Christmas
To Each His Own Self-Help Book

To Each His Own Self-Help Book

A new generation of authors peddles custom-tailored advice.
by Greg Beato

SEX & THE MARRIED MAN

The Seasons of Sex

The Seasons of Sex

Do you make more love in the winter? Or in the summer?
by Stuart Greene

FREE THE JACKSON FIVE!

Jack and Jill Moved Up the Hill

Free the Jackson Five!

Jack and Jill Moved Up the Hill

When does discernment turn into discrimination?
by Clinton Collins
When the Party’s Over

When the Party’s Over

Will the silence be deafening the day the last kid moves out of the house?
by Jeannine Ouellette