It’s January and I’m ecstatic. Well, ecstatic like someone who has crossed a marathon finish line and can finally stop running. I love the holidays. But I loved them lots more before I knew the whole damn show was powered by one frenzied woman on a gerbil wheel – and she’s me.
This year there were a few new wrinkles to Christmas beyond finding the perfect gift, getting the kids to smile in the Christmas picture and keeping the artichoke dip warm at the party. Now that my children are a bit older at the esteemed ages of 4 and 6, they’re starting to ask questions that are, well… hard. And the balancing act of Santa vs. Nativity Story has officially begun. Or as I call it, “the pink Jesus in the room.”
Our vague “Do Unto Others” philosophy that we’ve taught our un-baptized children works all right most of the year. But then there’s Christmas and the Christmas Story (not the one with the BB Gun - the other one) and it’s non-stop Jesus talk. Once my daughter came home from preschool in tears because a child told her that “when you love Santa it makes baby Jesus cry.” We couldn’t ignore it any longer.
It’s not that I’m against Jesus, I have even found myself describing him to my children as “a really nice guy.” I understand that’s short shrift for the man that inspired the Christianity movement, but honestly, I feel like he’s been co-opted as the spokes-deity for a political movement I’d rather not be associated with.
So to avoid completely resigning the Season to a red-suited man driving a Norelco shaver across the snow (shout-out to anyone who watched any TV in the 80’s), I went on-line and researched Advent. Every December Sunday, we lit a candle, read a story with the theme of generosity and talked about how we could each be a light in the world like Jesus - and hey, his birthday happens to be coming up!
I’m not claiming it was perfect, but the kids liked the ceremony, the story or at least the flames. It spurred many interesting conversations and we even “adopted” a family in need on our quest to be that light our world desperately needs. It helped cast Jesus as less of a red-state politico and more of an actual “nice guy.”
All in all, it was a satisfying experiment and I’m even trying to carry it on the 11-months when the Nativity is packed away. Most surprisingly, I feel common ground with religious conservatives who pull their kids from public schools because, for now anyway, when it comes to spirituality we’re home schoolers.
Lucie B. Amundsen is a writer and editor in the Twin Cities. Her family oriented essays have been heard the podcast, Mombo and Minnesota Public Radio’s "All Things Considered” and “In The Loop."
I have to say that she's hit the nail on the head on this one... but it also seems to me that it's not just one woman on a gerbil wheel but most women who carry a disproportionate burden for organizing the family spectacle(s) we call the Holidays.
I suspect it's cultural or just absent-minded men being, well, absent minded, but it seems that women are the one's making the food, organizing the events, making sure Santa pays a visit, etc.
In my book, Santa should should have been a chic. Anyone think differently?
thanks for making a delicate/personal issue amusing. we too have dealt with this and have even moved the day we open presents around to recognize all the historical events that have been merged into what we now call xmas (this year it was the 21st to talk about pagans and the solstice). Maybe next year it will be festivus for the rest of us.
Wow, do I hear you on this one. My pre-New-Years-resolution every year is just to make it to new years. Then I can usually relax and start the daunting but not so stressful task of putting my large collection of Christmas decorations away while swearing I'm going to downsize next year's decor.
Then I went to a meeting on Jan. 2nd where another parent starts talking about her dilemma about when she can put her tree and decorations away because the Epiphany is on a Sunday. I scrambled my brain to remember what exactly the Epiphany was, and I think it is the 6th of January, the anniversary of when the wise men first came to see the baby Jesus. Forgive me if I'm wrong. My stress started up again. Enough already with the Jesus stuff!
Jesus was a nice guy. I tell my kids that as well. But just like annoying "Dead Heads" made me severely dislike the Greatful Dead, so does an overly devout Christian make me dislike Jesus. It's not really Jesus' fault any more than it was Jerry Garcia's. I guess my new resolution is to try and not ignore the message, because of the fervor of the messengers.