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After $761 million in public financing in the early nineties, countless broken promises to workers, unions, legislators, and the inane poke to the rectum that is the price of the Northwest SmartSnack, Minnesota's favorite dysfunctional relationship is over. Sure, it was great to throw our international hub status in the faces of those who would dare deem us flyover country. And surely the fascinating articles on Minnesota cities and landmarks featured in NWA WorldTraveler brought hordes of screaming tourists to our fair state and raised the profile of Forest Lake on the world stage. The tax revenue didn't hurt either.

But we paid dearly for these perks. For no matter how many times the airline took advantage of our willingness to bend over, we never once got a reacharound. And make no mistake, the announced acquisition of Northwest Airlines by Delta is no exception.

Many are calling this move a merger. I call bullshit. Delta is paying $3.1 billion for Northwest, the company is going to be called Delta, and the headquarters is going to be located in Atlanta. This shouldn't strike anyone with a functioning neuron as a merger of equals. Of course, this isn't such a horrible thing for the companies. By trimming operations, marketing, and executive staff, not to mention logistics, at various airports, the company gets to continue to do business in a remarkably inefficient way - continuing the holding action the airlines have been running for the last decade as they try to cope with the economic realities of the modern world.

That's what this merger is about. Two large airlines, both in fairly weak positions coming off bankruptcy, recognizing that being bigger would allow them to continue the status quo for a few more years before the economy and their own stultifying cultures and abject idiocy brings them inevitably to the conclusion that the only way to survive and cover the rising cost of jet fuel is to sell "executive services" in WorldClub lounges.

But what does this mean for Minnesota? In the short term, we're getting buggered again, sans lube. Northwest HQ will leave town, along with the high paying jobs and tax revenues that accompany it. The newly merged company will have a conversation with our esteemed governor to discuss how it can adhere to the "spirit" of its agreements with the state and much noise will be made about the obvious benefits of whatever agreement is made to release the company from its obligations - maybe we'll take flying unicorns instead of planes, and the in-flight drink service will include MDMA cocktails, making for the happiest red-eye in aviation history.

Regardless, Minnesota's grand tradition of being boned by business will, of course, preclude taking payment on the $245 million in bonding money the airline technically would owe the state for pulling the headquarters out of the state.

Of course, Northwest leaving would present more opportunity should our government show some huevos and take away some of the preferred provider status the airline enjoys at MSP. For years, Northwest has rabidly turned away competition at the airport by undercutting competitor pricing and locking up three quarters of the gates at the Lindbergh Terminal. With concessions from the uber-line, we could have real competition in the market. Southwest and JetBlue might actually set up shop here, thus dropping average fares for Minnesotans. Because sure, we have service to 160 cities, but on average it costs us $60 more per ticket to get to any of them, according to a University of California, Berkeley study.

But given how many times our government has rolled over and wet itself in the face of pressure from business interests, I'd say das uber-line will be happily gouging Minnesotans for Cancun vacations until we rise up in a grand populist rebellion, or until they realize what kind of margins Ashley Alexandra Dupre could bring to the WorldClubs.