When my husband and I were asked to go on vacation to Colorado as a guest of our good friends the Swillers, how could we say no?
Last week was filled with good memories and a lot of REALITY. After landing in Denver with the guys, we still had a three hour drive to Aspen ahead of us. Swiller was the designated driver of the upgraded rental car, an Escalade. I guess Swilly figured that, since I (the JAPrincess of the bunch) was on board, it would be important to have a vehicle that gave me and the guys some room.
We all were getting along great until Cleveland Mike said, "Hey, there's an outlet store over there." Big mistake, Mike, to tell the one chick on board that there was a shopping mall calling her name — especially when the clothes she was wearing were binding and uncomfortable. "I promise you guys that I only need five minutes at the Polo Outlet Store."
Forty-two minutes later I was running around some random downtown area in Colorado looking for the Escalade with my JAPrinces. When I finally found them, I got "the look" of complete disgust. "What the hell happened to the five minutes? And your cell phone keeps ringing!"
"Sorry, guys, but the customer service (men and woman) were a little bit confused by my presence and rotating wardrobe."
Back in the car, I in my newly purchased Car Clothes, we resumed our journey to Aspen, Colorado. Bobby Swiller, who I have known since I was a very little Melly, was the perfect driver and information guy. Everything I needed to know about Colorado, from the minute we landed in Denver until the time we pulled up to Aspen, Bobby knew.
It was the perfect long drive, except for the two-and-a-half mile Eisenhower tunnel, where I tried to hold my breath and make wishes without passing out. FYI: two of the three wishes came through on my trip. The family is happy and healthy. (Yea, yea... don't share your wishes. But at this point, too late.)
We arrived at our home away from home, the Grand Hyatt in downtown Aspen (guests of Bobby and Missy Swiller). The accommodations were perfect. Howard and I had our own room with two queen sized beds (you do the math on that deal) and a bathroom with products by Portico Spa. The first thing I did was jump into a bath filled with Eucalyptus essential oils and drown out the smell of Cleveland Mike, Swilly Willy, and Howie Hankie. I felt like such a guy that it felt good to see the girls after my bath. We were all together with our significant others and on our way to a fun-filled five days of Aspen, Colorado. Part two comes tomorrow.
—Melly
Call me over sensitive. Maybe you are young and live in a world where it is acceptable for your female friends to call each other Bitch or Ho. But the people of my generation fought hard to eliminate the incessant view of Jewish Women that had led to the bigotry, sexism and anti-Semitism ingrained in that term you use so lightly. I see no reason for women (or the men you have included) to constantly degrade themselves by referring to themselves or other women in such a negative stereotypical manner. Have some shame... and some real pride.
And George Carlin died to try and instill a sense of humor into us all. It's too soon to be pissing on his grave.
And George Carlin died to try and instill a sense of humor into us all. It's too soon to be pissing on his grave.