I got a press release the other day from Temple, Thom Pham's Asian Fusion restaurant, announcing that on March 8, the restaurant will hold a Nyotaimori / Nantaimori event. "Nyotaimori and Nantaimori," the press release helpful explains, "are accepted traditions in Japan of serving sashimi and sushi off of the body of a woman or a man. It has been practiced for centuries, initiated as an art by the Geisha Community."

This struck me as a bit dubious. Given the traditional status of women in Japanese society, it wouldn't surprise if me salarymen out for a night on the town might use naked geishas as serving trays. But naked men? Maybe it happens, but I doubt it has been practiced for centuries.

"Temple has been noted for its unique and beautiful presentation of Sushi," the press release continues. "Now Temple continues in its pursuit of presenting sushi as a true form of 'Art.'"

It turns out this is a trend that has come and gone in other parts of the world. According to an article on the website, Japan for the Uninvited, body sushi "received a lot of media attention in the West in the 1990s. This coverage massively exaggerated the popularity of nyotaimori in Japan - these restaurants are actually very rare, and generally associated with organized crime rather than being mainstream."

If Tom Pham really wants to be on the cutting edge, he could try serving wakame sake, which, according to Japan for the Uninvited, "is poured down a model’s body and drunk from the cup formed by her closed thighs. The name “wakame“, meaning soft seaweed, refers to the pubic hair floating in the drink. This is not widely-practiced, and wakame sake is even rarer than nyotaimori."

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Well, naked sushi still sounded like a good idea to me. But March 8 seems like a long time to wait, though, and the cost for nyotaimori night at Temple - $75 per person, including sushi, sake and champagne, is a little beyond my budget. So I stopped off at the Midtown Global Market, and picked up a six-piece sushi sampler from the Sea Port Market: two pieces apiece of salmon, tuna and eel.

I think I probably could have talked the missus into letting me eat sushi off of her naked body. It was the part about letting me take a picture of her naked with sushi on her body and post it on this blog that was the deal-breaker. So I suggested instead that she take a picture of me with the sushi artfully displayed on my body. She didn't think this was a very tasteful idea, but I am willing to let the public judge for itself - I am willing to take risks for my art.

This she was willing to do.

We have two cats, Edgar and Hazel, who are usually restricted to a diet of raw kibble, but this definitely aroused their curiosity. These guys work as a team. While Carol was arranging the sushi and chopsticks, Hazel snuck up behind her and started licking one of the pieces of salmon. Then Eddie started licking the tuna on my chest.

At any rate, Carol dutifully snapped the photo of the tuna - a piece that the cats had not touched. And then she tasted it. "Tastes like cold sushi," she said.

Edgar declined comment.