The Rake Magazine

I ocassionaly excerpt work from my bulletin board of blogs called groovyman.com. If you are traveling over the holiday, allow "The Road Rake" to offer his comments on how to end arguments between "family DJs" during long drives.

Because most people lack the time, talent or inclination to actually master a musical instrument, their "music" is actually a vicarious form of self-expression. Express yourself the wrong way (i.e. advocate some totally ungroovy music) and you open yourself to ridicule. The opposite happens when you name a groovy tune.

But what makes a tune groovy?

Like a groovy book, it should be a shining example of its genre. It will be a pure breed. That is why Reggae will always be groovy, and the latest "world beat" house music will not. The same can be said of be-bop versus fusion (although jazz purists would argue this). Even the hip hop of The Roots versus the skitterish grunts of Kanye West.

While the lastest "genre-maker" is always upon us, it's better to build a music collection with works that have received the baptism of time. The grooviest music is also very frequently an acquired taste, and it certainly has soul (not be confused with Soul music--although that is usually pretty groovy). If it's exclusivity you are after, this is the fast track to the arcane (provided you develop a taste for the groovy stuff).

And money has little to do with taste in music (just ask John Lyndon). It even has a tendency to squeeze the life out of better artists over time. A musician simply needs to "put knowledge to imaginative use" to make a groovy tune. And DJs should "spin" by the same principle.

Back in my day, you know, before tabbed websites and wikis, parents generally dreaded the long road trip. Today they seem to dread the lack of communication with their IPODed, vidiotic little brats (not recognizing their complicity in the process).

I comment about cars. I have no idea what it takes to be a parent. I do know, however, that most parents rarely consider the idea of watching a video by themselves while driving long distances. Did you realize, for example, that the navigation screen on your Toyota Prius can also become a swell DVD player for your bored spousal passenger?

Yes, you too can watch movies in the car. If you read this blog then you can already go to IMDB and search for the latest Hollywood titles to entertain yourself. I will therefore go back to an earlier mindset and consider a few picks that the late, great Pauline Kael would have approved for long car journeys. I think I will start with Japanese flim (to keep it exotic while you drive across Nebraska.)

Akira Kurosawa is often the first and last name that comes up when you fall into conversation about Japanese film. The same could be said about Sajiyt Ray (sp?) and Indian film. But why watch what everyone else watches? If you want exotic, try this film: Onibaba (available from The Criterion collection).

Onibaba was made in 1964. It is a film made after a Buddhist fable about chastity and the passions that arise over sex. If this sounds boring, then I'll provide the Cliff notes here.

An old lady and a much younger one live in a hut in the mid-1300s. The two women attack lost and wounded samurai then kill them and make a living by selling what they steal. That's the simple story.

The entire movie is shot in what seems to be an endless grassy marsh. The grasses sway back and forth througout the film as the story unfolds to symbolize rage, passion, confusion and so on.

Once the women have killed the samurai they throw the corpses down a large open hole in the middle of the swaying marsh. Obviously the large open hole symbolizes all kinds of things. It is an orofice, and I'll leave it at that.

Early in the film a neighbor returns from the war. Things get interesting when the neighbor tells the two women that he saw the younger woman's husband die in the war over a scuttle with bandits. The viewer questions why the neighbor lived to tell the story, but that's all forgotten once the younger woman develops an interest in the man. The older woman tries to stop her but fails.

Soon the younger woman is running through the marshes every night to the hut of the neighbor to make boom boom. The older woman becomes distraught by this and soon tries to offers herself to the neighbor only to be rejected (great scene). This pisses her off so much that the the older woman resorts to scaring the younger woman into chastity. The old woman steals a mask from another samurai that she kills and taunts the younger girl on her nightime runs.

Soon all hell breaks loose. The swaying grasses, the open hole, and the stark, naked shots of the actors all combine to create wicked, palpable tension. This effect is heightened by a soundtrack that mixes the mating sounds of pigeons with Kabuki drums and urestrained saxophone (yeah, all back in 1964).

More stuff happens, but I hope you get some feel for the picture. Its not an easy flim to watch, but it is allegorical and unforgettable. Its also not that long. Which is something I cannot say for many of the flims Kurosawa was making during this period.*

* The best of which is The Bad Sleep Well. Based on an Ed McBain novel--like most of his early 60s films.

Machismo is integtral to Latin culture. I am no expert on either Latin culture nor, neccessarily, pure manliness. On the other hand, I know about cars. I also know that very small utility vehicles are popular in many Latin countries. There is something macho about purpose-built vehicles, particularly when they can be purchased at a bargain. One's standard of living has little to do with it.

To waste money, in other words, is not macho but stupido.

With this in mind, a good friend recently sent me a list of cars written up by a reuptable journalist on current automotive "best buys." My friend gently implied that I should sometimes measure the value of a vehicle by metrics other than quarter mile performance.

The good news here is that this list featured a few vehicles that will allow anyone to have his or her cake and eat it too (while accelerating fairly rapidly). For example, Subaru has recently released a visually toned down version of its STi Imprezza (around 29k). Mazda makes a fine Mazdaspeed 6 (overstocked and selling a little slowly at 28k).

However...and this is a big however....

If you want to look sexy, like real JLo Marc Antony in their heyday (JLo never had one but that's another story) here is the car you will deal on today: The Pontiac G6 coupe retractable in black on black with a six speed.

Its time to buy this American vehicle. It is the least expensive and most sexy retractable vehicle currently on the market (in black on black.) It is also a sea and ski car perfect for all weather conditions.

Don't thank me for this recommendation. Thank my friend. He is from the Latin hotbed of Iowa.