Reservations

New Year’s Eve sucks! If only because a) you cannot safely drive anywhere that night because there are so many drunks on the road and b) after one measly cocktail, you cannot safely drive anywhere that night because there are so many cops on the road. But it’s our lofty expectations that really spoil the night. So far in our scavenging for the perfect New Year’s plans, the boyfriend and I haven’t found anything that fits our fancies. Of course, pegging the right plans is impossible when you’ve got both a snob and a booze-hounding, but babelicious, Average Joe to please. We had been considering the party some of my friends are going to, which is in a gallery above Lurcat. But the Evite provided a link to Flickr.com, which had photos from last year’s happening. All the men were dancing with their shirts off; the women were not. Boyfriend winced and suggested we go to the beer bash in his high school buddy’s New Brighton garage. Nope!

Here are some other options:

If you want to be in the company of naughty people
New Year’s Eve In Heaven. This event is brought to you by Vox Medusa, the very folks who sponsored that famous Nudes party at Jeune Lune a few years back. Through personal connections (I worked at Jeune Lune at the time), I was able to lineup a gig bartending at their party. It all started out just fine–nude performance art and aerialists performing with their shirts off. But, from my perspective, things quickly went south, with every farm-fed blonde having striped off her shirt by 11 p.m. My personal favorite was the gorgeous 18-year-old dancer who, I presume, was performing somewhere about the building that night. He repeatedly made trips to the bar to purchase Red Bull. On his last visit, while waving his left hand in the air, revealing the big, red I’m-not-allowed-to-drink X marked there, and looking directly at me, he asked when the barstaff would be undressing.

Swanky people
Que Fiesta! A Five Star New Year’s Eve Party. This is The Rake’s very own throwback event, with dancing to the Volare Loung Orchestra, martinis, champagne, poker, and more. You’re supposed to go all-out; get dressed up.

Standing-in-place-nodding-their-heads-to-the-beat people
Mark Mallman is playing the Varsity, and his guests are Vicious Vicious and Solid Gold.

Single people
Can you tell I’m getting tired of this? From what I understand, my friend Bridgette has met a single man or two at the annual International Market Square party. To sweeten the pot, The New Congress, which is one of The Rake’s favorite bands, is playing the party this year. I must admit however, that things haven’t worked out between Bridgette and these men. The guy she’s currently dating was met at the gym, which brings us, full circle, to our prospects for January 1. Happy New Year!


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