A horse is a horse, of course, of course

This is a mule

This is an ass. Know the difference.

Not that Pawlenty’s screed against illegal immigrants left much doubt about the Republican position on what to do with them, but in case there was any lingering uncertainty, State House Speaker Steve (The Hammer) Swiggum weighed in today on the matter in an op-ed piece in the Strib.

Swiggum takes Strib columnist Nick Coleman and Attorney General Mike Hatch to task for calling the Mexican swine who are shitting all over our country “undocumented aliens” instead of “illegal sons of bitches.” He bolsters his point admirably with the following syllogism: “Calling illegal immigrants “undocumented” is like calling a burglar an uninvited houseguest.”

Think about that. Those wetbacks are here to steal from us. THEY ARE BURGLARS, dammit. That’s a profession they must be pursuing while taking a break from washing our dishes, cleaning our houses, working in our slaughterhouses, and picking our vegetables.

On top of being theives, they are drug dealers, too, according to Steve (The Righteous) Swiggum. Need evidence? Here you go, from Steve (The Just) Swiggum’s own typewriter: “For example, after successfully curbing the production of methamphetamine in Minnesota this year, we’re now battling the importation of meth from Mexico. Fifteen people were arrested recently in central Minnesota in one of the largest meth investigations in the state. Law enforcement described the suspects as a mix of legal and illegal immigrants.”

First, it’s preposterous to say we’ve “successfully” curbed the production of meth in Minnesota. That will happen about the same time we “successfully” curb the production of bullshit in the Legislature.

Second, people who bring drugs into the U.S. are not immigrants, they are “mules.” And we’ll get rid of mules about the same time we get rid of fear-mongering asses like Swiggum and Pawlenty–the sooner the better in my opinion.