Another Day, Another Column—the Streak Continues!

We got a kick out of DC SOB’s funny item today, “Washington’s Most Loathsome.” And while the SOB pins the tail on many high profile asses—like Robert Novak, Michelle Malkin, and Charles Krauthammer—we were especially gratified to see syndicated “advice columnist” (and Washington Post typist) Carolyn Hax on the list, described thusly:

“11. Carolyn Hax: Are there any among the lovelorn who aren’t sorry after they’ve taken their plight to this Fen-Phenned harridan of hackery? Operating from the position that there’s no better medicine than woefully uncalled for ridicule, she generously peppers her advice with belittling barbs. It might yet be amusing if she wasn’t recycling the same old put downs week in and week out, but she’s too damn dim to notice she’s about eight short of playing the dozens. Of course, her own marriage was no great shakes, though to her credit, once she managed to break her ex-husband illustrator, he stayed broken. Still, it’s impossible to see her column as anything other than the bitter remodeling of her own glass house.”

We couldn’t hope to say it any better than that. Now, we have it on good authority that at least one co-worker here in the office is a serious fan of Carolyn Hax (who is included no doubt in some sort of syndication package over at the Star Tribune—you want Friedman? You gotta take Hax! No Hax no Friedman. Oh, and Family Circle stays, capiche?), which certainly beggars the imagination. One of the crosses we bear as editors is the steady trickle of writers and would-be writers who wish to write an advice column. As with every proposal that comes through the door here, we try to seriously entertain the idea. We read clips and cover letters, we skim resumes, we chew on it and sleep on it, and in the end we most likely have to say “thanks very much, but we’re not in the market for another column.” This is undoubtedly heartbreaking, but it is for the best for everyone concerned.

We have a number of standard replies, but we have not tried this one out: Be careful what you wish for. Just look at that harridan of hackery, Carolyn Hax! A column, especially an advice column, may look like a gilded throne, but the pressure of regularly producing something—anything, much less anything worth a damn—can certainly be a millstone around one’s neck. No matter what the frequency (monthly, weekly, daily),even a professional writer will often find herself in a tight spot from which no amount of prestige or artistic freedom or compensation can save her.

Well, we’ve now managed to write a lot more than we felt inspired to write about twenty minutes ago. Confidential to Reilly: You’re lucky to have the couch, bud.