We’ve all heard about the different levels of grief and Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Lately I’ve had reason to re-examine the varying levels of “relevance and cool” in the music business. There are phases, to be exact.
Level 1. You start out, fresh, unknown, and interestingly unstudied. Someone more famous than yourself has gone on the record as saying that you’re cool–motivated likely by his or her own impending relevance slippage. You’re not reinventing rock ‘n’ roll, but you are adding something to the pantheon of rock that hasn’t been bludgeoned to death. Yet.
Level 2. You as a performer are at your most confident. You’ve tasted success and are fairly certain of your own cool factor; you now have people surrounding you that do little more than affirm your great taste and unlimited sex appeal. However, it’s at this exact moment in your career that no one who isn’t on your payroll would agree with them.
Level 3. This is the most depressing phase. You are now painfully aware of how uncool you are, but at your manager’s/ spouse’s insistence, you try to keep a brave face and live publicly in utter denial. It’s at this point you might seriously consider developing a wicked drug problem, if you don’t have one already. Words like “royalties” and “publishing deals” are now being replaced with words like “health insurance,” “restraining order,” and “comeback.”
Level 4. You are so irrelevant and uncool, it’s become ironically cool to dig what you do again. You’re a hack and the weird offers start pouring in. Indie-rock vampire boys want to produce your next record. You will embrace your small role in the next Quentin Tarantino flick. If for some reason you became impatient after Level 1, charter a small twin-engine plane to your next gig. Works every time.
Email Mary at popularcreeps@yahoo.com
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